Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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