i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
