Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
it was like eating out sand paper
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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