either way he was missing a nipple.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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