you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
