According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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