Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I didn't shave. On purpose
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it's not cheating when I paid for it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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