Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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