she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
