I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize