I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
