I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
