@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize