I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
