dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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