How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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