Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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