i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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