oh god the rape fog is back!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
