The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
