I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
