had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
