the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
