i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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