I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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