coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
