Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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