Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
