About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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