He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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