wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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