I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
