I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
