Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
