but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
