So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
