AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
