So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
