didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
