Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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