ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
