You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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