So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's shark week go big or go home
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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