You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
