i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
