He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
