Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
