ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize