Cold hands, warm shart.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
