there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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