I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
