Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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