my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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