I must be too annoying 4 u.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
