is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
