dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
bring money and cleavage
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
