I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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