New invention idea: vibrating tampons
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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