i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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