Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
