OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
okay pat passed out under dana's car
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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