trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize