Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize