Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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