eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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