2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
