party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
