You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My life is pants optional.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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