You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
