Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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