I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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